11. Golf Jokes #7 - with Carey Erichson

Carey Erichson has over 6,000 jokes in his inventory. You can find his 25 joke books on Amazon.com. Just type his name in the search bar under books and they will all pop up.

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded.  "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? The man replied, "That's okay.  It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf."

John, who lived in the north of England , decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn. So, they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So, they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

‘I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained, 'and I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.' 'Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of golf.  But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked,"Shawn, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?' ‘Yes, I do,' said Shawn 'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?' 'Well, um, yes!,' Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.' 'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?' Shawn's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.  Why do you ask?' ‘She just died and left me everything.'

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?...)

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