2.  THE EMOTIONAL BEAST WAS UNLEASHED AND NOW IS DECEASED

It is Sunday and I am writing again. I wish I could say that things got better since my last post but... I had a horrible week and sadly I invited the emotional beast in. When he came knocking I did not only invite him in I set a place at the table for him and fed him and entertained him.…...........

I say this jokingly but you understand. I gave him full entry and access and the result was misery. As women we are made emotional by nature so we have to be extra careful and sadly I was not. I will not go into detail but I have dealt with stupid people, selfish people, ignorance and denial, lack of appreciation and a total lack of care. Revelations came that left me wounded but I got through it. Family drama that should have never touched me but...sadly it did. Easy access is a problem even though we own our home which I am very thankful for I am strongly considering moving away, so deep in the country that no-one can even visit me. This morning more stress and I ranted and then I took control. I did what I could do and left it. I killed the beast that had successfully ruled my life for a week straight. I learned a lesson in all of the madness. My emotional upset trickled onto others and I jumped to a conclusion that I should have not jumped to and had to apologize. I am quick to apologize. I was refreshed this week on slamming the door in the beasts face immediately. I was refreshed this week on how crazy your life can get when you are controlled by the emotional beast. I allowed myself to get caught up as they say or entangled yet again. I pray that in the future I will say NO to weeks like this again. I am drained and exhausted and this week will be about restoration. I will find my happy place and remain there. I will shut my phone off for the week. I will enjoy my Christmas decorations that are all through-out the house. I will cuddle up with my soft yellow blanket and read. I will paint, I will listen to good music and watch things that make me laugh. I will remember what this month is about and be thankful for all of my blessings. I am always thankful but I need to kick it up a gear. We can get so “caught up” that it becomes easy to forget how blessed we are even when all Hell is breaking loose so to speak.

Quiet is what I seek this week. Silence can be healing. I will think on the things that make for peace. I let my mind be held captive for a week and my emotions the dictator and misery was accomplished NO MORE! The flesh beast never brings anything good. I was disappointed in myself because I forfeited my peace when I should have stood my ground. I cant go back but I will move on and heal from all of the created dramas of others that find me, and all of the upset my body has been through. I killed the beast today and I will slam the door in its face in the future. People that are not invited I will let them stand outside my door and let them knock until their hand falls off, but what I will not do IS ANSWER! I will not be on the phone this week as I already know from this past week that there will be possible drama again. The dramas I deal with are not mine and that is the tragedy so I have decided that I AM GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE and I expect all other adults in my life to do the same. Why counsel when no-one listens? I am DONE with wasted advice just so I can say I told you so! I am DONE protecting people that could care less about me! I am DONE with liars especially the liars that go to church every week! I am DONE with childish dramas from adults who make the choice and then want you to either fix it or feel sorry for them! I CHOOSE LIFE! I hope lovely readers that I will have something sweet for next week but as you all well know life is salty and sweet.

Another day, Another page

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